Imagine a pearl necklace, each pearl connected to the next. This story is as such, each account connecting with another, forming a story, albeit one still unfolding. In 2015 something happened to me that made me confront a lot of my deepest fears, I felt overwhelmed by the test God had given me, and even though I couldn’t see the light at the end of the tunnel, my heart could. So my heart hugged my soul and together we dived. That is the thing about life. Sometimes life is so uncertain and we struggle with attaining certainty when we need control. We need to understand where we are going. If we do not, we feel helpless, defeated or confused. I was tried with something that made me lose control of the faculty most take for granted, my body. In this realisation I pondered over the the story of my namesake, the Prophet Musa as (Moses). When Musa (as) was at the juncture of the Red Sea, he was scared, but had hope, he was unsure, but had hope. In that moment of feeling uncertain, he made a very powerful du’a (supplication), he said:
“Inna ma’iya rabbi sayahdeen”, (Truly my Lord is with me and He will guide me through 26:62).
I was now facing my own Red Sea and called out to God with the same supplication along with another* very powerful one. Having no control over my circumstance i called out to Him. When I did this, I learned an A class lesson in Tawakal (Trust in God). I came to understand when you truly place all your fears, anxieties, worries with Allah, and you dive into the His Ocean, one of two things will happen, He will either catch you, or teach you how to fly.
I flew. Realising i had wings, hidden for so long. It was very much an inward journey of love and loss, recognizing the wounds and healing from so much more.
*To be continued.