Maktub

“Maktub” loosely translates to “it is written” in English. In the book, “The Alchemist”, The crystal merchant introduces maktub to Santiago.

“Maktub,” the merchant said, finally.
“What does that mean?”
“You would have to have been born an Arab to understand,” he answered. 
“But in your language it would be something like ‘It is written.”

Santiago gets into some difficult situations throughout his journeys to find the treasure and complete his own personal legend. But as he gains confidence and knowledge with the Soul of the World, Santiago realizes that he can be more assured of his success. He can be more assured of his success, because of maktub. Fate has a way of falling into place for those who are following their own personal legend. Why? Because of maktub. Because it is written. Santiago’s success is written; it’s up to him to accept it and step into that role.  

These past few days have been excruciating. I’ve been bed bound from the nova virus. I was shivering and had a high fever. I even tried to find out if I could pray with my blanket, because I was so cold. I did anyway. When I’m ill, I feel humbled. In this state, I took to my laptop and deleted over 20,000 items. Picture and videos I had accumulated from the past few years. Even though I had not viewed them in forever, I realised Shaitaan sometimes infiltrates your heart in many ways. Often times keeping you glued to your past. You become a prisoner to the memories and stop being present. Today I freed myself a little bit more. 

Allah sends us reminders all the time. Sometimes in the form of people, sometimes in the form of an illness to break us free from path of the self induced bondage that can lead to our destruction. Examine what you are holding on to and ask yourself, if you believe in the decree of God and if something is meant for you. Why hold on so tightly? Let go and remember these beautiful words of Imam Ghazali (ra), “What is destined will reach you, even if it be beneath two mountains. What is not destined will not reach you, even if it be between your two lips.”

Step in to your truth, and remember with absolute conviction Maktub, it is written. 

The Ruffling


There are some trees a few miles to where I reside that bloom into the most amazing cherry blossoms each year. Just as the season of Spring beautifies the landscape, these trees transform a mildly picturesque area into something so captivating. I had noticed on a recent drive that the colours had started to change. The trees it seemed peaked at a bright pink hue that lasted a week and had now gradually changed to transition to green. The next phase in their journey. Again, preparing for the next season.

The nature of the tree has taught me many lessons. Allah has taught me in life to never get too comfortable with anything. Everytime something comforted me, it was taken away. Just as the seasons are changing. My life too is ever changing. Circumstances, people, the state of the heart. Every evolving. Transitioning into the next chapter. Preparing for the next season and the adventure of what life brings. In my endeavours I have always tried to view the change as something good, as a mechanism for my survival, even if at times I do not understand it or even if at times it pains me. The trees tell me that Dunya is temporal. The good times are temporary and even our pain and sadness is temporary. The transition is so important to our survival. Just as the mother of Musa (as) had to let go of something very dear to her. Place her son into the harsh waters of the River Nile. She grieved, naturally. But Allah promised her He would return Musa to her. So she let go. We learned that Allah taught the mother of Musa that He is the ultimate Comforter and and it was learned in the most powerful way.

Let go and place your trust in Allah. Let go of your attachments and submit. If the marriage you are in did not work out. If the contract at work ended. If your once biggest supporter has now become a memory. Let go. He will bring you to something beautiful *if* you believe He will. The seasons change and with that He birth of beautiful experience awaits. The trees often look so much more wonderful when the wind ruffles them. There is a lesson in the ruffling. The leaves become more resiliant and that’s how they thrive. In your humanness ruffling builds character and strength that will serve as light to your internal beauty….

.. if you just let go.

The light in the storm


A little over a year ago I was living away from my home, and because of a personal circumstance, I felt like I was in the eye of my storm and on this particular day it was raging. I felt depleted, crippled and broken. As I lay in bed and I hear a knock on the door. Someone who I cared about deeply sent me this package, it contained one of my favourite things; ice cream. It was one of the sweetest gestures. This person knew I was not well and soothed my heart (and stomach) with a simple act of kindness.

Allah says in the Quran, “indeed with hardship there is ease” (94:6).

Indeed. My trial did not end that day, however I found comfort in my ease. That moment, that person, the other people who were there for me. I felt the mercy of Allah nourish me. When someone in going through a something, one of the best ways to show you care is to “show up”. Be present. Even if you cannot be present due to distance, you can still make your presence felt. Emotionally. That’s how we build connection. We lean in when it matters.

Sometimes people may leave our lives for different reasons but it is always important to remember the blessings they bought with them. In psychology It is said when you focus on something, it grows. Focus on the light and it will grow, and when it does, it will illuminate the darkest crevices of your life.

My Rea Sea

red-sea-parted

Imagine a pearl necklace, each pearl connected to the next. This story is as such, each account connecting with another, forming a story, albeit one still unfolding. In 2015 something happened to me that made me confront a lot of my deepest fears, I felt overwhelmed by the test God had given me, and even though I couldn’t see the light at the end of the tunnel, my heart could. So my heart hugged my soul and together we dived. That is the thing about life. Sometimes life is so uncertain and we struggle with attaining certainty when we need control. We need to understand where we are going. If we do not, we feel helpless, defeated or confused. I was tried with something that made me lose control of the faculty most take for granted, my body. In this realisation I pondered over the the story of my namesake, the Prophet Musa as (Moses). When Musa (as) was at the juncture of the Red Sea, he was scared, but had hope, he was unsure, but had hope. In that moment of feeling uncertain, he made a very powerful du’a (supplication), he said:

“Inna ma’iya rabbi sayahdeen”, (Truly my Lord is with me and He will guide me through 26:62).

I was now facing my own Red Sea and called out to God with the same supplication along with another* very powerful one. Having no control over my circumstance i called out to Him. When I did this, I learned an A class lesson in Tawakal (Trust in God). I came to understand when you truly place all your fears, anxieties, worries with Allah, and you dive into the His Ocean, one of two things will happen, He will either catch you, or teach you how to fly.

I flew. Realising i had wings, hidden for so long. It was very much an inward journey of love and loss, recognizing the wounds and healing from so much more.

*To be continued.